May 10, 2012

Therapy Thursday- The Garden of Love

Sometimes feeling love just won't cut it.  You have to show the love to really let that special someone know you care.  Any relationship be it with a lover, friend, or family member needs a little upkeep just like a garden needs water and love to grow and flourish.  Like a garden, any relationship steeped in loving actions is a relationship that is flourishing, so here are some ways to show your husband, family, and friends just how much you love them.

Ways to show your Husband the love:

1) Written notes and texts:  I make my husband lunch everyday and I always put a little note inside just to let him know I love him.  I get up a few hours before he does and am out the door and at work by the time he gets up so I also like to leave little notes on the mirror.  A simple "Good morning love hope you slept well" to "have a good day".  Sometimes I send a picture every now and then as well.  Just to let him know I am thinking about him.  Whether the picture is naughty or nice is your choice. :)

2)  Always resolve your issues:  I don't necessarily agree with the "never go to bed angry" suggestion most couples follow.  Sometimes it's good to hole your tongue and calm down first so you don't over-react.  A good nights sleep may be all that is needed to help you resolve whatever issue your fighting about in the first place.  Whatever the issue just be sure it is addressed and not filed away because unresolved issues can come back to bite you in the ass.

3)  Flirt:  I think after awhile most couples start to take their relationship for granted.  Don't get too comfortable.  Swap out the sweats for some lingerie every once in awhile and slow dance in the kitchen or give him a massage.

4)  Go for a walk:  My Husband and I love to take his RC car to the Park across the street.  All the kids in our neighborhood love it and the dogs can't get enough.  We are the official dog walkers at the park.  The neighbors know where to come to ware out there pups before bed.  Sometimes when the park is empty we will do time trials around the trees.  I can't think of anything I love more on Sunday afternoons than to see the smile on his face when we are hanging out together at the park.

5)  Encourage him:  Whether it's a promotion at work or a new song he is trying to learn on the guitar, make sure you always let him know you have his back so to speak.

6) Keep Learning and always ask for advice:  One thing I love about my relationship is that I am always learning from mu husband and I always try to ask him for advice before I jump in and take on the task myself.  Just recently I got a virus on my computer and he managed to swipe the whole thing clean and reload all my information for me I would have had no idea where to begin.  He is always teaching me new things and I will always be grateful for that.

My husband Paul and I toasting our Marriage

Back home in Cali

Ways to show your Family the love:

1)  Always listen:  Sometimes we just need someone to talk to.  No judgement or questions asked.  Be that person when your needed.

2)  Always Be There:  With open arms ready to help when needed

3) Call and text:  The old expression "call your mother", well you should follow it, but I know life can get busy sometimes so texting is good too.  Shoot a text to say hi and let them know your thinking about them.

4)  Show your appreciation:  If you don't show your appreciation for the things your family has done for you, how will they know you care?

5) Send a card or flowers: It is always nice to take the time to write a personal note.  Emailing is great but it is always nice to get a card in the mail.  Send flowers too not just on mother's day or an anniversary, but just because.

6)  Spend time together:  I am on the East Coast now and my family is back in California so it is hard to get together as often as we used to, but whenever I come home the four of us (my parents and my older brother)  always make it a habit to have dinner together and play a game or see a movie.  It is so important to be there for your family and spend as much time as possible.

My husband Paul, my brother Jeff, and my parents Carol and John

Ways to show your friends the love:

1) Send a link to a music video you used to love:  This morning I heard an old song on the radio on the way to work which put me back in 4th grade with my friend Tiffany.  The second I got to work I sent her an e-card about it.

2)  Post old pics on face book and tag them: I love seeing old pics of my friends and I together

3)  Make new Memories:  I can't wait to go home next month to see all my friends on my birthday.  It is more important now than ever for me to make time when I am home because I see my friends far less now.

4)  Help them:  Drive to the airport, clean a house or apartment for an inspection, help them move.  You can never do too much to help a friend.

5)  Make birthdays important:  Call,email, text, and or send a gift.  Whatever you do try to make it memorable.

6)  Blog about them:  Be sure they know how much you love having them around :)

Tiffany and I at Magic Mountain

Jen, Sara, and I with Triston (Sara's Son)

Bianca and I on my 30th Birthday

This is an old shot from Stacy and Heidi's Bachelorette

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