July 3, 2012

Miss Maynard makes it Three

Last night Emily went to her last 4 suitor’s home towns to meet the parents
The Four remaining men are:


First stop, Chicago Chris’s home town.  Chris makes me nervous just watching him.  Before the date Chris is talking to the camera and says, "Today is probably one of the most important days in my life," poor thing, what a boring life he must lead. Chris takes Emily for beers at a Polish tavern where he tells her all about his Polish roots.  He apologizes for being a "mess" at last week's rose ceremony, when he stopped the proceedings to profess his love to her.  He always seems to be apologizing for something.  Emily tells us that she likes the way Chris is open with his feelings and not afraid to fall in love.  She feels he would make a great husband.  Chris introduces his father, Papa John, who meets Emily and she is able to charm him right off the bat and tells Chris he thinks Emily is a wonderful and stunning young lady. Meanwhile, in another room, Mom is telling Chris "If you really love this woman, then you've got to get out there and kick ass and you've got to fight!"  But it's Chris' tough sister, Rene, who might be the real fighter in the family. She takes one look at little Emily and warns her that, if her brother isn't the one, that she should end it "sooner rather than later."  
Second Stop, the Holmstead Ranch in Utah, where Jef is a cowboy type? Who knew? I thought he was just a cheesy/goofy guy who wears skinny jeans and acts like he doesn't get laid a lot. He takes Emily on a dune-buggy ride and then target-shooting, and he is good. She doesn't know where all this manly-man stuff is coming from, but she thinks it's hot. Emily is a great shot as well. Jef's parents are away, so Emily will have to impress all of Jef's siblings and relatives. I am very suspicious as to why his parents were not there. She admits to being very nervous, especially because Jef once broke up with a girl who his family didn't like. "That's a whole lot of pressure on me," said Emily. Jef's older brother, Steve, takes Emily aside for a little grilling. "Love is not an investment, it's an adventure," says Big Brother.  Meanwhile, Jef's sisters tell Emily that their brother is a "hopeless romantic" and that they're skeptical of this whole TV show process. "Do you feel like you're falling in love with him?" one of them asks, point blank. Emily stammers a little and then says "Honestly, I do.  I don’t know about you but I didn’t believe it.  Before the visit ends, Jef reads a long, sweet and mushy letter ending with the declaration that "Most of all, I'm completely and hopelessly in love with you." There's more to this guy than I thought. However I am not sure Emily feels the same way. She tells Jef "That's the sweetest thing anybody has said to me."
Third stop, Scottsdale, Ariz. To meet Arie’s parents. Of course, they meet on the racetrack and do some laps in an Indy car. "He looks stupid-hot," she says, checking out Arie in his racing gear. Arie's parents, including former Indy 500 winner Arie Luyendyk, Jr., lapse into Dutch at one point during the family meeting.  I felt bad for Emily until Arie finally stops them and translates.  Later, Arie's mom asks Emily about her stint on "The Bachelor" with Brad Womack and why they broke up. Wow, she is gutsy but I like it. Later, Arie makes out with Emily and tells us that he's ready to propose. "I'm definitely going to marry Emily," he says boldly.
Fourth stop, Dallas.  Where Sean first introduces Emily to his dogs. Then comes the meeting with the family and a deep, dark secret from Sean: He still lives at home with Mommy and Daddy, in a dank, messy room full of stuffed animals. A look of shock comes across Emily’s face, but wait! It's just a joke. Thank god. Then again, Sean keeps talking about how hard it is to give myself to a woman is this guy a 28-year-old virgin?
Last stop Los Angles, where host Chris Harrison reminds Emily that she has some "serious" business ahead of her. Like a rose ceremony. Emily is pretty emotional about the whole thing, worried about hurting someone's feelings, but someone has to go home. That someone is Chris "I'm actually shocked, to be honest with you," he tells her, " I don't understand how much faster I could have moved, I told you I loved you." The limo takes off, and Chris says, "Everything seemed like it was perfect. I loved the girl. I thought she loved me back." No tears were shed but Chris does come up with a great exit line: "I'm 10 times the man of all those (bad word) dudes that are still in there right now." Well ok Chris, I guess you never got a chance to see Jef with his firearms or Sean with his stuffed animals.
Next week the group tosses around the L-Word and tears are flying in Curacao.  Until next week.

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